Most engineers don't come from a top 20 school

All companies say they hire "only the best." The reality is that 70,000 engineers graduate in the US each year. I haven't found solid numbers yet, but I'd wager less than 10,000 of those come from "top 20" schools (that would be 500 per school on average), which would be fairly big programs.
If that's an accurate assumption, then over 85% of US engineers have a similar background to you, including me. I did four years at a regionally respected, but national unremarkable school. I wouldn't sweat it too hard.
From my experience reading, I would say to look for a school with a traditional 4 year program (It's still ok to take 5 years in most of those schools, especially for transfer students)

Don't count on a top tier graduate program.

You got two in the Bay Area. Stanford and Berkeley. A 3.64 from a "state" school is not going to get you into any of those.
You best bet - those software engineering masters programs at Carnagie Mellon or it's part time MBA program in Mountain View. Then again, with those, you won't be able to teach anyone anything at any University, nor are they as respected as the full time Carnegie Mellon MBA program, a genuine Comp Sci master from Carnagie Mellon, or anything from Berkeley or Stanford.

Is this what most top eng programs look like?

I recently audited a graduate level course at Columbia University. Apart from myself, the instructor, and one other student, every person enrolled was asian -- all of them (about 50 students were in the course). Of course, one course is just one course. I also made use of Columbia's science and engineering libraries, and while I did see more white faces at each, again I observed that the overwhelming majority of the students appeared to be east asian, with quite a few Indians in the mix. No black faces, and just a smattering of whites here and there. Have native born Americans -- white bl

WRONG - a 2.0 is the MINIMUM to graduate

To say 2.0 is average is wrong.
Are you talking the mean, mode, or range when you say average?
A 2.0 is the lowest GPA that will allow you to graduate in almost all (if not all colleges). Keep in mind that those attending college are by default "above average" in they are in the top 40 to 60 % of the population simply by attending. Once they graduate they are in the top 30 to 40%. So using an average has no meaning on this sample group of the population.
Next time try thinking about your answer as stuff like what you posted is meaningless and doesn't help the OP